30 Things I learned Before My 30th Candle

1. Life is a mystery.
You can never know what life has in store for you. It is full of secrets that only get revealed in your life when the time is right.

2. Every choice you make has a consequence.
Young or old, every choice you make has a consequence and, some consequences are permanent. So make wise choices.

3. Start saving.
Most of us black children are not taught to save from a young age, however we can’t blame our parents because they were probably living just to make ends meet. But, I can’t stress how important this is. Start saving, and start saving from a young age. You will be proud of yourself when you realise how much you have saved decades later.

4. Forgive.
As I grew, I have learned that people will offend me, and I will offend people. The key is to learn to forgive others because I don’t know how many had to forgive me.

5. Learn when to cut ties.
Know when it is time to move on from a friendship. The truth is, other people are in our lives just for a season and not for a lifetime. Don’t wait for a friendship to get sour and toxic. Know when it’s time to cut ties respectfully.

6. Don’t be afraid to fail.
Every great leader didn’t try once and succeed. You will fail. The trick is to not allow fear of failure to scare you. Failure is part of every success story.

7. Have a teachable spirit.
This is one of the important foundations for any leader. Have a teachable spirit because you never arrive. You can never know everything.

8. Know when it’s time to move.
This relates to the workplace. Never hold on until you become a bad stench in the organisation. You always know when it’s time for you to move to another department or another organisation.

9. Avoid bad debt.
If you want it so badly, why can’t you have the patience to save and budget for it? I always knew that if I don’t need it, then I can live without having it.

10. Know yourself.
“Self-knowledge is the rarest train in human beings.” You don’t need performance to prove yourself. You don’t need to be popular to feel important. You don’t need possessions to identify with yourself. If you still think you need those 3, then its time you evaluate yourself because you don’t know yourself.

11. You have time but don’t waste it.
You don’t have to live in anxiety thinking that time is running out. However, don’t waste time because you don’t want to wake up and realise you wasted so many years doing nothing. Have a sense of urgency and get rest.

12. Define your vision.
I love the millennials, but one of the things I have noticed about this generation is, they start things without calculating the costs and therefore fail to finish. Defining your vision helps you not to do something just because you can. I don’t get involved in things that won’t get me to next level of where I am going. You don’t want to be an octopus on roller skates, going everywhere but not the finish line.

13. Consistency and hard work gets you to the success road.
Some people are successful because they are consistent. Yet others are not successful because of inconsistency. You need to put in the work.

14. Don’t be hard on yourself.
We are our worst critics, but know that for as long as you are still alive, you have a chance to rewrite chapters in your life.

15. Value family.
When you are still a teenager, you think that friends are everything and your family members are your enemy. When you are in your mid-20s, you realise family is important and seasonal friends start to fade away from your life. Value your family, they will be there for you when you need them the most.

16. Rejection from people has nothing to do with you.
You can be the best at what you do, the best friend or partner and still be rejected. Always know that it is part of the process and has nothing to do with you.

17. Manage your expectations.
Always give without expectations from people. What you can easily do for someone doesn’t necessarily mean they would jump at the chance to return the favour.

18. Take care of yourself.
You only have one body. Take really good care of it!

19. Take time to pause and reflect.
Make time to celebrate yourself for doing well. We chase achievements so much that we forget to stop and see our tortoise steps towards the goals we have achieved. You deserve to celebrated, so take time to celebrate yourself.

20. Create memories.
It’s a good idea to start working on your bucket list before family life and children take over. You might have the time to do it later when the kids are older but your energy won’t be at its maximum as now. So, seize the moment.

21. Don’t live a compromised life.
You show people how to treat you and living a compromised life will show people that you don’t value yourself. You only have one life. You can’t be putting dreams on hold because of other people, live your best life because you only get once chance at it!

22. You are a brand.
You don’t need to be celebrity to be a brand. Know your personal brand. Work on your personal brand and be who you believe you are placed in this world to be.

23. Two most important choices you will ever make.
Who you believe in- that will carry you through life. I am a born again child of God, I believe in God and Jesus the Messiah. Who do you believe in? Who you marry- that person can break or make your destiny. They can destroy or lift you up and, they can put you in debt and poverty, or financial freedom wealth.

24. Respect other people’s values and opinions.
Just because you don’t agree on a matter doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. You don’t have to force people to see it your way. Respect their values and opinions and move on.

25. Not everyone is an early bloomer.
Some turn 28 and they already have a qualification, a house, a car and are in managerial positions in the workplace. Some turn 35 and only do they become home owners and get a real job. Don’t be pressured by what your peers are achieving, be on your lane and remember we are all not early bloomers.
26. Pray always.
Prayer works. You will need to be patient though, for God will build your character before giving you something.

27. Think before you tweet.
Everything you do online lives on google forever. Don’t be over taken by emotions and not think before you tweet. Same applies for Facebook.

28. Always show up!
Even if it is to sit there quietly with a loved one and listen, make time to show up when they have lost a loved one or are in hospital. If you can’t show up, make that call!

29. Don’t resist change.
Change is inevitable. Challenge yourself to new things and don’t resist change. When it happens, it means you are ready to handle whatever is coming your way, that’s why it is very important to always be prepared.

30. Love.
Love life, love yourself and love people.

“Love life, love yourself and love people.”

Read More

Do you know your triggers?

Do you know your triggers? I remember my phone ringing just after midnight on the 20 th of July 2016 and it was my cousin. I didn’t answer, thinking it was probably a mistake. Seconds later, Bongani’s phone rang and judging by his response, it wasn’t good news at all....

read more

Boundaries…A journey to your happily ever after

Boundaries...A journey to your happily ever afterI visited home 4 months after my wedding and made it a point to visit the people I did life with, including some of the mamas from my previous home cell. I remember one of them asked how my father in law was, and I...

read more