What do you wish you knew when you were 21 that you know now

This time last year, I attended the annual Rhema women’s conference and during their panel discussion, different women were asked “What do you wish you knew at 21 that you know now?” Wise women who were on the panel discussion answered, but one reply left me evaluating my own life. Quoting Dr Mpofu “I wish I knew for wrong things to happen, things don’t have to be wrong. God does not waste pain. I went to Namibia. The hotel we were in was in the middle of nowhere in the dessert, and I concentrated on the desolate dessert where there was no rain. That night as we sat outside, the sky was so beautiful, the stars were so clear and so close. God said to me, I created rain, and it is me who chooses where there will be rain. I chose for rain not to be here, and look how you are enjoying the beauty of the dessert. Check in your life where you are expecting me to bring rain, when I have chosen that there shouldn’t be any.”
I asked my lady friends the same question, these are the lessons they shared. Enjoy and always value yourself woman!

Nthabeleng: It’s okay to fail. Failure points to God. Sometimes God allows failure so that we can recognise that our successes are not the result of our ingenuity but, His grace. Failure brings us face to face with the Almighty.

Tshepo: I wish I knew how to use money.

Ayanda: The importance of having a job that satisfies you and is in line with your purpose.

Faith Nthoba: I learned that sex out of marriage is not fashionable, but breeds unnecessary toxic soul ties.

Tinyiko: Eating healthy and exercising is a good investment.

Thembisile: The one thing I really wish I knew then that I know now is the power of investing money.

Mosidi: To never compromise on your values for the sake of others and never settle.

Tsholofelo: I wish I knew it’s okay to be young and enjoy your youth. Being a young mother, you turn to be too independent and miss out. In essence, I wish I knew I could start over as it’s never too late.

Zime: I wish I knew how important it is to pay attention to the choices I make and my actions as they determine how my life turns out.

Boitumelo: That I am more than enough, even with the broken pieces, I am and have always been whole.

Gomotsegang: Forgiveness sets you free, so do it sooner and learn to let go.

Temogo: I wish I knew that every choice I make has a consequence, and some of the choices leave a permanent consequence. Somehow, I thought this only applied when I am old enough, but realised late that the choices I made when I was able to make a choice still had a consequence. It’s a principle. Same as what you sow, you reap. It applies to everyone, young or old.

Thuli: To trust my instinct, and trust the Holy Spirit in me. He never lets me down.

Itumeleng: I wish I knew that self-love and self-appreciation is the best thing one can do for themselves.

Faith: I wish I knew the importance and the value of staying true to myself.

Botshelo: Just because you had a mother and saw her being a wife, it doesn’t always mean you will automatically be a good mother and wife. Somethings are just not common sense.

Thobani: Education will open doors, don’t stop studying.

Sibongile: That I am beautiful and fine the way I am.

Zipporah: I wish I knew the importance of getting a driver’s licence earlier in my 20s.

Diamond: Not all of my friends will be happy when my dreams come true.

Madidimalo: To trust God without borders.

“Forgiveness sets you free, so do it sooner and learn to let go.”

Read More

Boundaries…A journey to your happily ever after

Boundaries...A journey to your happily ever afterI visited home 4 months after my wedding and made it a point to visit the people I did life with, including some of the mamas from my previous home cell. I remember one of them asked how my father in law was, and I...

read more

How Does It Feel To Be YOU Today?

How Does It Feel To Be YOU Today?Think about it for a moment, how it really feels to be you today. Firstly, I don’t think you can get to know how you really feel today, when you don’t know how you felt 3, 5 or 10 years ago. I was watching a TV programme when the host...

read more

Myths about marriage

Myths about marriageTwo weeks ago I celebrated my third year in marriage, all by God’s grace. As I reflected on my marriage, I began to separate what is the truth about marriage, and what is not. I’ve always been observant of my life and my marriage, but last year was...

read more