Relationships
I value relationships. I am the type who would invest her time in a relationship. If i meet you and get along with you right away, i will give our relationship special attention as i give my 10 year old relationship. Love does not keep score, it does not matter how many times i called you, if i want to call you for the sixth time, i will call you. đ
I have observed ten year old relationships getting ruined by silly arguments. How one fails to sacrifice and say sorry to save the relationship. I have observed how people have lied in my face and said they are no more friends with whoevever because they just outgrew each other, not realising they failed to keep the communication going and one chose to not invest time anymore. I have observed how people have (i will say it like my father says it) “cheapified” the word friend and how people would lie just to please the next person.
As i continued to observe, i have seen how relationships ended because i did not make you my maid of honour or bridesmaid. How relationships ended because you found out about my engagement through another friend and not me. I have observed relationships ending because i got married and you are still single, because i became a mother and you know nothing about being a mother so we cant be friends.
Relationships will always go through downs, they will go through conflicts and you as the other party in that relationship, you will have to stand and go through those tense uncomfortable conversations that no one likes going through, you will have to sacrifice and ask for forgiveness to save it.
I have lost great friendships, friendships i valued so much and have left a gap in my life. Friendships where life happened, differences came and one decided not to make an effort to rebuild it. I have lost best friendships simply because of the choices i made and the consequences are still hard to swallow as it cost me a friend.
I truly believe it takes everyone in that relationship to make it work, to invest time and have intimate fellowship. To be transparent and communicate. “it does not matter what the next person does, the question is, what did you do to make the situation worse or better?”
I have made choices that i am not proud of, that have cost me great relationships. I also have cut relationships that were toxic and unhealthy. One will have to make such choices at some point in their lives. For now, value every relationship you have, invest your time and create memories.
To those who are still in a relationship with me, do know its not by default, its been planned from above. Let our relationship give true meaning to love and intimate fellowship, and even 20 years from now, when life has happened, priorities changed and we have stopped intentionally making time for each other, i know i will hear your name and i will smile and say ” That’s my friend; my lover; my njuz”. And when i have stopped calling, sending a text message, writing you a letter, singing about you and investing time in you, i hope you will take your time, to check up on me. Love keeps no score, there’s no 50/50 in healthy relationships, we all sacrifice 100%. I never believed in 50/50 anyways! đ
This is to all my loved ones who life happened and i knew our relationship will never be the same again. I will never stop loving you Thibe Pooe; Lavani Nemakonde and Lerato Nhlapo.
“People can move from being strangers; to knowing each other, to friends, to best of friends, to strangers”
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